I was born into an ill body with confused and scared parents. When I was a baby, breathing, digesting and pooping were some of my biggest challenges. But with the added experiences of chronic infections, an unpredictable and scary household, various sports injuries, PTSD, the sudden death of my mother from a glioblastoma brain tumor, black mold toxicity and Lyme, my life became a constant struggle of survival. My nervous system couldn't take it anymore.

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​I started to develop symptoms that were frightening and uncontrollable. At one point, the fatigue was so bad that I could barely get out of bed. I was in constant pain. Parts of my body would randomly go numb. I had night sweats, random fevers, interstitial cystitis, nausea and very strange looking bowel movements. My emotional state would swing from extreme anxiety to depression. It felt like every part of my body was falling apart. It felt like my life was ending...and I was only 36 years old.

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Sure, I received fancy diagnoses like Hashimotos and Chron’s, and I saw lots of different Western and Functional Medicine practitioners who added on more diagnoses: blood sugar dysregulation, poor methylation, chronic Lyme, etc. etc. etc. Those diagnoses gave me an understanding of how my body was shutting down, but it didn't solve anything.

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At this point I was a healing arts practitioner with a thriving practice wondering why acupuncture, the AIP diet, herbs, meditation, etc. weren't fully working for me. I also wondered why I was so good at dissociating from my symptoms when working, but fell apart as soon as I was left to care for myself.

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Since I ran out of options of "specialists" to see, I started studying Functional Medicine and Functional Nutrition on my own. If I could just find that one thing that could turn everything around, I would have hope. Sure my symptoms weren't getting worse but I still felt awful on a daily basis.

 

That's when I stumbled across some research on psychedelic medicine and that's when everything began to change...

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My amazing husband suggested that I try psychedelic mushrooms to see if they helped my symptoms. Having never engaged with these types of substances before, I was scared and reluctant. However, I was so desperate that I decided to give it a try. I took a relatively low dose, but had a profound experience that allowed me to understand that the way I was viewing myself and my place in the world was blocking my ability to heal.

 

For the first time, in a long time, my symptoms were reduced by 3%. It may seem like a small percentage, but that 3% gave me my hope back. It was as if I took my first step out of hell and saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

At the time, I didn't understand how I came to adopt the negative beliefs that were contributing to my dis-ease and keeping me in this hell-on-earth paradigm. That understanding took time to develop and was helped greatly by studying the nervous system, polyvagal theory, internal family systems, somatic therapy, NLP, conscientious microdosing, and experiencing many more ceremonial and guided psychedelic journeys to unwind the complex post traumatic stress that was being stored in my body and causing me to repeat the same negative programs over-and-over again. 

 

At this point in time, I no longer experience autoimmune and Lyme symptoms and the sensations of anxiety and depression are incredibly minimal. I have gained resliency in my mind, body, and spirit. Sure, I'm not "perfect;"  I need to be very mindful of how I expend my energy, what foods I choose to nourish my body with, and regularly check in to make sure I am honoring and living my truth. My healing story continues to unfold everyday as I dive deep into my soul to accept the parts of myself that suppressed my feelings and emotions in order to help me survive in a world where I never felt safe or that I deserved to be in.  

 

Today, I can share my story with you with tears of gratitude because I feel truly alive and have the skills and resources that allow me to live fully and joyously in this world.

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My Mission

I now understand that there was a purpose to the suffering I experienced throughout my life. My suffering was a gift as it served as my motivation to seek out different healing modalities, study them, and then offer this knowledge to others who are suffering. Ultimately I've learned to alchemize seemingly negative experiences into gifts, see the magic in the mundane, and recognize the collateral beauty in life's challenges. I believe that I can help you do the same. It is my mission to help the world heal and serve as an empowering guide so that you may:

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• Be at ease in your body, feeling the ground beneath your feet …

• Be attentive and gentle toward your own discomfort and suffering …

• Be attentive and grateful for your own joy and well-being …

• Feel safe in this world and in your body so that you can move towards yourself & others with curiosity & compassion…

• Receive all parts of yourself and others with sympathy and understanding …

(Adapted from the Metta Prayer as quoted by Robert Meikyo Rosenbaum in “Walking the Way”)

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Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey.